--- If you are sitting uncomfortably staring at the wall then I'll begin ––

My sawing of wood in the attic has become a cause for concern for the nails
They think the asbestos water tank something to do with Iraq

Because I wear black lime and orange Slade socks
I sometimes have problems with postage stamps from Vancouver

But I never let this sort of paranoia get to the fish
Who resemble my mother-in-laws black back teeth

That path by the river with the duck and a helicopter for chatter
Are colours of cherries and oil on the hillside

Whereas the fireplace loves a slice of lemon and bread
The butter is becoming more reluctant of commitment

Whenever the woodpile of teddy bears needs some comfort
I phone a friend from Donegal for a kilo of semtex

But this does not make me a bad person

I believe that mental illness has something to do with disdain
I believe that 'I can't believe it's not butter' is in fact a form of resentment
I believe that resentment has nothing to do with jelly
I believe that high rise apartments can indeed cause light headedness
I believe that God also might ring me


My pop up white and black four slice streamlined bread toaster
feels that his immortality is a subject of chthonic discloser

The leaves that have scratched in the wind all day
are morbid trout lips that tang of Jesus

The parish priest that I met last week in Las Vegas
said that the candle grease smells too much of Madonna

And what of the primroses and dead frogs in my outhouse
And what of the primroses and dead frogs in my outhouse

Someone once told me that Hilary Clinton's cat was gay
Could this have something to do with Iraq

Tomorrow I have a full schedule that I might not get to the ear of the Pope
somewhere in the river I spied an eel phrase book

I would like to leave here on the wrong train for Bangalore
Where can I keep a honey bear near contempt

Can anyone tell me if an apology can taste of desire
Or has time reverted to his old ways of sighing neglect

How much is that doggy in the window - the one with the tickly noise
Can you tell me if soup is a form of seduction



Is anything possible! Could we
like God transpose matter
dissolve it reinvent it as they
do on the Star ship Enterprise –– Just
press a button and say 'Prepare
to energise' and bzzzchinkbzzzz
we arrive tiny rainbow particles
all various fumes of new
born in a distant golden Eden.
Or as Jesus did over Lazarus
say abracadabra hey presto tap with
a black and white stick - and the
blind can see, the lame can walk -
the suffering suffer no more -
the whole world sorted.
Could we detach from the body
and walk on the surface
of the moon or bounce
upside-down in space
marvelling at all the colours
of the spinning earth.
Might we live in a perpetual
plain of wonder and calm -
of peace and harmony?
Would we nail to a cross
and soak in dark vinegar
divergent chthonic conditions -
or Spear mindsets of despair-
realign natural conditions -
or release a captive torment ––
Would they march off
into the dark distance in
red luminous pvc suits
towards a welcoming fire.
Could we get our fazers out
and set them to stun and
point it at the clock
and give it a belt.
Or on the last day
close our eyes and
just slip away with
Hugh, Phew and Barney Mc Grew -
into a Trumptoneque paradise
with a head on mummy's lap
a red thumb in the soothing mouth
and feet on the fire?

Abstract Matters

Can anyone find me the horns of a dilemma
Is there a mathematical formula for cheese?

Why can't we vaseline a rock and a hard place
Do winds have a mind of their own

Let me overdose on tablets of stone
Or feel as wrong as rain

Does a camel hate the sight of a needle
Was Humpty Dumpty not told about heights

Was beauty ever more than skin deep
Donald Duck could do with an agent

I can see Bob Dylan in the slipstream
With one small step on the moon

What was for me - went by me
To heaven in a hole full of buckets

Debt is the best friend you will ever have
Is there really more to life than money

A lot of bridge has gone over the water
Tide and time met me last night for a drink

They say that if you're not down you are up
And if you are only half way up then where are you

I had a mirror that lied to me always
Flat out in my hall for days

At the end of the day it's what you destroy of it
The lightest hour is just before night

The stars shine only in lightness
Every lining really have a silver cloud

        © James Mc Laughlin 2008